Keep him home
by roxyfire57
Summary: We know Chi Chi who is the overbearing mother and stern wife. But do we know Chi Chi whose husband always disappears? My impression of Gohan and Goten's mother was always... well not 100%. But my impression of Goku's wife just changed. If Chi Chi is not a character you like, perhaps this fic will change your mind - or at least make you sad.


**What Chi Chi feels about her disappearing husband. I made some reference to GT, even though I really hate it.**

The first time he left me waiting, it was for three years.

The second time, he disappeared for another year.

The third time he went off it was a year before I saw him again.

The fourth time, he left for seven.

The fifth time he went, i didn't see him till five years later.

The sixth time he left, he left forever.

I love Goku. There was no denying that. I loved him ever since I saw him when we were twelve. Then, he promised to marry me. He had no idea how happy I was back then. Three years later, I met him again, only to find out he had forgotten my name. I was mad, but he made it up to me and we tied the knot at the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament. We had a wonderful baby boy Gohan, named after his late grandfather. Five years later he went for a reunion with his old friends, taking Gohan along. I would never have agreed to let him go, when it meant not seeing him for the next year. He died, then I died inside. When he was wished back to life later he went to battle an intergalactic tyrant on some far-off planet, and even though he was still alive he stayed away. I wanted to cry, scream and kill myself at the same time. Gohan was the only thing keeping me together.

He returned with devastating news of a new enemy, and three years later he contracted some odd virus but he lived. It didn't matter. Because regardless, he had to go on a suicide mission and leave me a pregnant widow. He came back, though, like he always did, and we had a happy family for ten whole years, which was the longest we ever stayed together as a real family. Then he abandoned us for some stranger no one has ever met before, just to train him. Five whole years passed without my husband when he finally reappeared at our doorstep. He left again two years later.

I've seen the way he looks at the sky, his eyes full of wonderment and longing. He was adventurous, at the age of twelve he journeyed the entire planet. Nothing could tie him down, or so I thought. It hurt me to see him like this, to imagine he was a wild animal locked in a cage. He deserves to be free, to experience the thrill he had before. I loved him too much to keep him locked inside any further. He needed freedom. So I told him, "I think Gohan needs some break time. Why don't you take him to go meet up with that old master of yours, and all your other friends? I'm sure he would love to hear all those wonderful stories about your adventures."

Goku never stayed. He lived here on Earth, but he never stayed here. No, his life was somewhere else. He spent longer away from home than with us. Sometimes I wished he was more like Bulma's husband. Vegeta is a asshole. But what he did, was come back. He left to train in space, he left to get stronger-but he never missed the birth of his children, he never missed the birthdays. Vegeta may be a jerk, but he was always there when his family needed him the most. Unlike Goku.

No one can deny he loves me. Goku loves me. But how does he love me? Does he love me as his other half, the one he is prepared to spend the rest of his life with, for better or for worse, through health and sickness? Or does he love me like he loves Bulma and Krillin and Yamcha and all his friends? Does he love me like he loves fighting and saving people? Or does he love me as the one who gives him food?

If you love someone, you let them go. If they come back to you, they're yours, but if they don't they never were.

I was always Goku's to keep.

No matter what day, what time, what year, no matter how long he has gone or what he was doing, no matter how angry or sick or depressed I am, I would be waiting for him. And everytime he walks through our door my heart would burst, shrieking with love and longing that he came back.

I had always thought Goku would come back. Because he always did. When he left, be it one, two or ten years, when he was tired of exploring and adventuring or when he needed a break, he returned. Either that or the thrill of a new adventure, the saiyan bloodlust for a new villain, the passion for a stronger opponent brought him back. I didn't know. And I would rather not. I would still like to believe that Goku truly loved me.

But Goku was never mine.

If there is something new and different, I have no doubt he would leave. Because he always did. If there was something with more promise out there, he would go seek it out. Who was I to stop him? I didn't have it in me to chain him down again, to make him settle down. I couldn't stand to know that I would be the one to take away what he most cherished-his freedom.

The last time he left, he went with Shenron. It was after the whole ordeal with the dark star dragonballs, where Earth was peaceful again. He was a child, yes, but I missed him. I wanted him back. I wanted to feel him next to me. I wanted to have a wonderful family. I wanted to spend the rest of my years with him. I wanted to be happy with the love of my life.

I watched him leave.

To love is to let go. I loved him too much. He wanted to train. I loved him too much to say no. I let him go. He never came back. And when King Yemma told me that Goku was currently participating in the Other World's Martial Arts Tournament, he asked me if I wanted to wait for him. I had all the time in the world, was restored to my young, beautiful self, I loved and missed him like hell. I said yes.

But deep down I knew, no matter how long I waited, no matter how much I loved him, it would never be enough to keep him home.


End file.
